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Everyone experiences it differently,...how is it for you?

12/3/2016

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Stroke survivors, apart from the people who experience, for some reason, physical pain, do not suffer after a stroke. At least they shouldn’t. Yet for some survivors there can be a lot of emotional pain. Why is that?
Of course there are stigma, discrimination, organizational hurdles, accessibility issues; and on the personal side are stressors like reduction of finances, break-down of relationships, inability, or diminished ability, to perform daily tasks. Basically anything that comes and goes with disability is difficult. You feel you’re fighting a losing battle.
The question is how do we win this battle?
 
These obstacles are not always society’s fault, even though ‘disability” is, what sociologists call a “social construct”, meaning it was somehow “constructed” by society. Many people and organizations have tried to get rid of the “DIS” in disability, and the “Politically Correct Brigade” has had a field day coming up with new words that are non-offensive, non-objectionable, non-disrespectful, and, of course, all inclusive.                                                              Think about the word what you want. What is really bad about it is the preconceptions and misinformation it comes with.
Social hurdles can be a daily stressor. A pain? Probably more frustration. Nevertheless it can wear you down
All this is important enough to warrant a separate, detailed discussion.
 
One woman reported that she keeps walking into things because she cannot form a spatial picture in her mind, thereby misjudging the distances between objects. A man is on a special diet because he has Aphagia (difficulty swallowing). Another man often burns himself because the hot/cold sensation on his arm does not give his brain the right information whether a pot is save to touch, or burning hot, which makes cooking difficult.
There are, indeed, numerous physical dysfunctions/disturbances that are annoying, and require special attention,...and that’s all they should be – annoying. This annoyance, however, can grow into frustation and sometimes into despair.
 
Part of the reason for emotional pain is undoubtedly the stroke survivor’s physical state, and the lack of confidence. Having been locked-in for approximately a week, and spending several months in hospital, I know how a person’s physical state can influence the ability to cope with a calamity.
 
By the time someone leaves the hospital there is usually no more, or in some cases very little, suffering, and physically he/she is close to being as good as it gets. The confidence, however, is still at a low, and that makes it easy for emotional pain to be perceived worse than it is. Often this is also the time when depression sets in. According to a number of studies up to thirty percent (30%) of stroke survivors experience depression. Some studies say even substantially more.
 
It is all due to an involuntary life change. Suddenly the survivors have to deal with unwanted situations and occurrences.
If you were ever forced to do something you really didn’t want to do, you can relate to it.
You probably can deal with one of these obstacles at a time. If several happen at once, you might, quite rightly, feel despair.
 
Whether you’ve had a stroke or not, we all like to be in control of our lives. Any weakness means less control.
 
No matter whether the physical injury is bad or not, the way we perceive it can turn into a lot of emotional pain – but only if we let it. Only when we are not in control!
 
Control to the people!
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    Wolfgang Wolf
    BSocP (Counselling), Dip. Cdm.
    In 1990 Wolfgang had a major stroke, which he barely survived. It left him in a wheelchair, unable to write, barely able to stand, and talk. He did not give up and feel sorry for himself, but went on to orchestrate this change to his new life, and take control of it. While he recovered and adjusted to life in a wheelchair he wrote a book, an electronic, revised version of which is now on Amazon. After this he studied and completed a Bachelor of Social Practice (Major: Counselling) and a Diploma in Community Development.  

    While studying he founded, and still chairs, “Computers Against Isolation”, a registered charity which provides people who live with disabilities with computers.                                                                                                                                                       
    Before his stroke he worked in Advertising and Direct Marketing. Today he is active in the stroke community, does counselling work, and appears as a public speaker
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    A compelling account of adjusting to life after stroke. Experiences, obstacles, and questions you might have.
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